


Oh god they were roommates

by FormattedInkbot



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Anal Fingering, Apple Juice, Bottom John Egbert, Daddy Kink, Humanstuck, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Nipple Play, Omorashi, Please Don't Hate Me, Porn, Porn With Plot, Smut, Top Dave Strider, Watersports
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:48:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24476737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FormattedInkbot/pseuds/FormattedInkbot
Summary: Dave and John have lived together for almost a year now, and they’ve always liked to have “challenges” such as Who Can Stay Awake The Longest, Who Can Avoid Crying The Longest While Watching Big Hero Six, and Who Won't Drink Anything For The Longest Amount Of Time. The two boys have always had innocent fun while doing these until Dave has an idea. Who Can Hold Their Piss In The Longest? Suddenly, the fun isn't so innocent anymore.A Dave/John smut story
Relationships: John Egbert/Dave Strider
Comments: 10
Kudos: 51





	1. Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept It

**Author's Note:**

> ~~~~~Authors Note~~~~~
> 
> Hello there! Most of this is written after 12am so I apologize if its funky.
> 
> no smut in the first few chapters just some setup and v i b es
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John POV

Dave and you liked to play games. Well, not games. More like challenges. Sometimes they’re really stupid challenges; such as Who Won't Drink Anything For The Longest Amount Of Time (Dave, 3 days), Who Can Stay Awake The Longest (Me, 96 hours), Who Can Avoid Crying The Longest While Watching Big Hero Six (Dave, he lasted the whole movie), etc. We’ve never gone so far as to hurt ourselves during these challenges though. Typically if you see that Dave’s in pain you’ll tap out so he doesn't have to. Unfortunately for you, Dave likes to make fun of you for tapping out. Typically, if you lose he’ll mock you for the rest of the day and the next day, sometimes longer.  
Yesterday, you lost the Who Can Stand On Their Head The Longest Challenge. Dave had looked like he was about to pass out, so you had dropped out for his sake. You never tell him you do these things for him, you don't want him to get upset about it. But, because you don't tell him, he doesn't feel that bad over teasing you about losing. Don't get me wrong, Dave is a great guy. We’ve been friends for 9 years since we were twelve. He’s always teased over lots of little things, you've never minded it. you've always kind of…liked it.  
“Beep beep albino hairless dick monkey coming through. How’s the loser who can't stand on his head doing?” Dave asks as he walks into the living room. He had just gotten back to our apartment from the store. We’ve both shared an apartment for about a year now. He drops a bag down on the table, it lands with a heavy thunk.  
“That's the best insult you’ve got?” you say with a chuckle as he flops on the couch next to me.  
“Yessir at the moment it is. Why? You didn't ask, but I have come up with a new challenge!” Dave says in a sports announcer voice. He kicks off his shoes and pulls his legs up onto the couch, turning to face me. He slowly slides his shades down the bridge of his nose, stopping when you can fully see his eyes. He makes eye contact with me but doesn't say anything for a little bit. Finally, he speaks.  
“Our challenge, should we choose to accept it, is to see who... .can... hold...their piss in the longest,” Dave announces, staring straight into your eyes the entire time. His face shows no emotion other than a tad bit of excitement. you on the other hand start to feel your face heating up.  
“Aww, what's wrong Egbert? You scared?” Dave asks, leaning closer to your face.  
“I- what no I’m not! I’ll do it!” you exclaim, pushing Dave away from you.  
“Nice dude! Now I propose an extra little challenge. Just to make this a little bit harder.” Dave said with a sly smile. He reached over to the bag and pulled out two-gallon jugs of apple juice.  
“We have to drink, and finish, these before we start.” Dave looked over at you and winked as he passed a bottle to me.  
“Cheers bro.” He lifted his jug to yours and unscrewed the cap. you started to unscrew the cap on your bottle and lifted it to your lips, slowly sipping. Dave was chugging it as fast as he could, you weren't surprised.

Dave POV

Chugging Apple juice. One of your many acquired fine talents. You were so good at it that you were done with the bottle in about 2 minutes. Poor John on the other hand was only about a quarter of the way done with his bottle.  
“You’re going to have to go to the bathroom pretty quickly if you drink like that,” John says as he sips his bottle.  
“Nah I’ll be fine. I've been planning.” you retort with a smug smirk.  
“Planning? Out of all the challenges you could have planned, this was it?” John asked. Shit. Now you sounded...pervy?  
“Planned isn't the right word. Not what I meant. Trained for? I don't know but I've had practice.” you shove your glasses back up your nose to hide the embarrassment in your eyes. you hadn't meant to sound perverted. Don't get me wrong, you have had practice holding in your piss for a long time. you hated to admit it but you liked it. Like… you unironically think it's hot. Well, that's not true. You think pissing yourself after being painfully desperate is hot. And no, you're not proud of this  
“I want to ask for context but I’m also painfully scared,” John says. He's about halfway done with his bottle now.  
You sigh. “Trust me, you don't want to ask.” you stand up from the couch, stretching your back as you walk towards the trash can to throw away your now empty apple juice bottle.  
“O..okay. Got it.” John gives a suspicious look, you just glare through your shades. Not that he can see.  
“I'm going to my room. Don't cheat and dump out the bottle in the sink,” you call out behind you as you leave the room.  
“Mhm got it, captain!” John says, probably mock saluting you or some shit.  
“Dork” you mutter to yourself as you drop onto your bed. you smiled up at the ceiling. you had liked John since you met him. Nine years of making fun of him, pretending that you didn't like him. You honestly don't know what you were thinking when you came up with this challenge.  
You came up with it after John had come home while you were jerking off to the thought of him. you had run out of the house “to go to the grocery store” because honestly you had been scared. While you were at the store, you had decided you needed some apple juice ‘cause apple juice is a necessity of life. you had gotten the two big jugs and a smaller bottle to drink. As I was drinking it on the way home, you started to have to go to the bathroom. A combination of your left-over horny-ness from your interrupted session and the need to go to the bathroom caused this. Yeah. Just that. Not because you like John and you like pee. Nope definitely not.


	2. ~~NOT AN UPDATE BUT STILL IMPORTANT~~(6-8-20)

Ok so I have a couple things to say here.

1) No I'm not discontinuing the story.

2) Something kinda big and stressful just happened to me. I wont elaborate but it involves the cops (fuck them, acab). Im safe, I'm not in danger but its pulling my attention away from writing. This means that updates are going to slow down a decent amount. I'm really really sorry and I hope you'll understand!

Ok thats all! I hope you guys have a great week and I'm sorry about the update situation!


	3. You ready to surrender yet?

It had been about 24 hours since you had proposed the challenge and chugged apple juice, and you were starting to feel the effects of it. It was currently about 4 in the afternoon, and you and John were sitting in the living room, watching a movie. You weren’t really paying attention to the movie, it was some dumb romance movie John liked.   
“No no no not him-” John cries out at the movie. You looked up at him, then at the movie. There was some stupid kissing scene going on.  
“What's the issue?” You grumble. John looks over at you, apparently offended.  
“She’s kissing the twin. Not her boyfriend!” John exclaimed with more emotion than necessary.  
“Ok so?” You honestly couldn't care less about romance movies, you really just wanted an excuse to hang out with John.  
“What do you mean so? This is important to the plot Strider” Whoa. John had never called you Strider before. You kinda liked it.  
“Is it really that important though? I mean it's just a kiss,” you asked. John sputtered at you, picked up a pillow, and threw it at you. Unfortunately, it hit you right in your swollen bladder.  
“Hnng-” You groan in pain and wrap your arms around you.  
“Oh my god, Dave! I'm so sorry.” John exclaims, sliding closer to you on the couch.  
“I-I’m fine.” You grumble as you slowly start to sit up. John had other ideas apparently because he scooted as close to you as possible. Unfortunately for him, he hadn't thought past this part and now was just really close to you. Not that you were complaining. John noticed he didn't know what he was doing and did what every good student has learned to do in middle school; pretend to act busy. John started to flit his hands around your torso, making “tsk” and “hm'' noises.  
“What are you doing dumbass?” You ask, chuckling at John. He leaned on one arm next to you.  
“You got a problem with it, Strider?” John asked with a smirk. You didn't know how to respond so you knocked your elbow into the inner elbow of John, causing him to fall. Directly into your lap. It took John a second to realize what you had done, but once he came to his senses he quickly scrambled up so that he was kneeling on the couch, next to you.   
“Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.” John muttered as he tried to compose himself, all former confidence lost.   
“You're all good Egbert,” You say as you try to ignore your now pulsing bladder. John's chin had landed right on it when he fell and it had hurt. You tried to turn your attention back to the movie but honestly, you had no clue what was going on. You tried to think up a new idea for your webcomic, but no luck. By this point, the pain in your bladder has stopped. Forgetting you and John’s little game. You decided to go and pour yourself some apple juice.   
You stepped into the kitchen, which wasn’t a far walk seeing as the living room and kitchen were connected, and pulled out the apple juice and a cup. As you started pouring, you were hit with the sudden urge to go to the bathroom and you remember that oh shit right John and I are having a competition. You quickly stop pouring. As you screw on the lid to the jug, you hear a...moan?...from the couch. You look over and see John, curled up in a ball. Concerned, you hurry over.   
“Yo, John. You good man?” You ask as you look down at him. He slowly uncurls himself and he’s...blushing?   
“Yeah. I'm fine. Sorry.” John says, quickly apologizing.  
“Dude, you sure? Did you stub your toe or something?” You asked, concerned.  
“Nonono. Dave, I'm fine.”  
“Are you sure? Cause you didn't seem fine when you were moaning a second ago.”  
“Moaning! I wasn't- ugh.” John stutters. “Dave, I'm fine. Thank you for your concern, but It was just the apple juice. It made me, ah, have to go”  
“Oh ok. Sorry ‘bout that!” You glanced over at the half-full glass of apple juice on the table. “Well, I can't waste it.” You mumble as you walk to go grab it.  
“We could split it!” John suggested.  
“Hm? Oh, yeah sure.” You grabbed another glass and split the apple juice. Then you brought the glass back to John.  
“Cheers,” John says as he lifts his cup to take a sip. You lift your cup and gulp it all down, earning a pang of pain in your bladder. You grimace, and when you look over at John, he’s wincing more than you. Both of you put your glasses down on the small couch-table. John continues to watch the movie. You try to pay attention but oh god romances are so boring. Eventually, you drift off to sleep.  
~~~~~~~~~~  
John POV  
You wake up to a dark living room. Dave had fallen asleep a while ago and after finishing the movie you had been watching, it seems like you had nodded off too. Something, you didn't know what was playing on the television. You were too groggy to notice much, but you did notice the warm person snuggled up against you.  
“Hnng- wha...Dave?” You sleepily ask.   
“Hi. Was cold. You're warm.” He mutters. He seemed to be too tired to put up his “tough  
guy” facade. He was snuggled up against your torso, trying to get comfortable, until you  
Grunted out in pain. Dave had just jammed his head into your bladder.  
“Dave get up I gotta pee,” you grumble from beneath him. That's all it took to fully  
wake up enough Dave. You pushed him off of you and stood up to go to the bathroom. Suddenly, he grabbed your arm and pulled you back.“Wha- Dave!” He exclaims as you pull him back.  
“C’mon Egbert” he chided, “You gonna lose this easily?” Oh right. The competition. You  
allow yourself to be pulled back to the couch next to Dave.  
“No. I'm not giving in...yet” you protest. You reach out and poke Dave's swollen bladder, “Plus, you seem pretty close to giving in yourself.” you tease.  
“What? I'm not gonna give in.” Dave says confidently, even though you had seen him  
wince and twitch when you poked him. Suddenly, Dave grabbed your arms and pinned you  
down, so he was on top of you.   
HolyshitDaveStriderisontopofme.Holyshitwashealwaysthishot? Is all your brain could think up. You looked up. Dave was above you, smirking.  
“I'm not going to lose, Egbert, because I’m going to make you lose first,” Dave said. Holy cow. You had never really seen this side of him before. You really liked it. You laid there, admiring the way Dave's arms reached past you to pin you down. You were startled when suddenly, Dave's knee reached up and pressed down into your bladder.  
“Dave-Dave!” You exclaim, squirming under him.  
“What's wrong John?” He teased, pressing his knee down harder.  
“Dave stop it! I'm gonna- I'm gonna-” You start to squirm harder, the pain in your bladder increasing.  
“Your gonna what? Tell me John, and I’ll let you know.” Dave said with a devilish smirk  
“Goddamn you! Dave, please. I'm...I'm gonna-” now you faced two options. Have Dave forcibly push the piss out of you (which did sound kinda nice), which would ruin the couch. Or you could admit you were about to piss your goddam pants. “Dave! Please. I'm gonna-”  
“Tell me,” Dave said as he jerked his knee down harder.  
“I'm gonna piss myself!” You finally exclaim. Dave sits up, removing his knee from you. You moaned in relief and he chucked at you.  
“So. Now what?” Dave asked, ‘You gonna give in? Or am I gonna have to do that again?”  
“Oh god no. I...I give up. Dave, I need to go to the bathroom right now. I lose.” You admitted. Dave smiled at you and...picked you up?  
“C’mon pretty boy, let's bring you to the bathroom.” You sat, almost limp, in Dave’s arms, surprised by this sudden turn of events. “You know the green, yellow, red system right?” He whispered to you as he stepped around the couch.  
“Mhm.” You mumble to his chest.  
“Color?”  
“Green” you hated to admit it, but you genuinely liked this. And it seemed Dave did too. Oh boy, you were in for a long night.

~~~~~~~  
1413 words.

Me: Updates might be delayed  
Also me: *Stress writes*  
~~~~~~  
Other accounts: https://linktr.ee/sidewalkchalk


	4. Here we go

Hahaha. Sorry this chapter took so long to get out. I lost motivation but here we are. And sorry about the ending, Its a bit abrupt but I wanted to get something out.

GUYS IT DAVE/JOHN WEEK (7/5 - 7/12) ACORDING TO MY FRIEND. I DONT REALLY KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS BUT UHHHH DAVE/JOHN!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dave bumped the bathroom door open with his hip. For an apartment, the two of you had a decently large bathroom. It had a bathtub that was also a shower, a sink and toilet, and walking space in between them all. Dave gently set you down in the bathtub. You clung to his neck until you had been fully set down, then you gently let your arms fall. Dave smiled sweetly down at you. You felt completely safe with that smile. You laid there as Dave stepped into the tub and crouched down. It was quite large, both of you had been shocked by that when you first bought the apartment.

“Hmmm...I don't think you need this.” Dave mused as he ran his hands up and down your shirt. He reached under the hem of your shirt and lifted it, you arched your back to assist. Dave threw your shirt to the side. He stared down at you and started to rub his calloused hands up and down your torso, seeming to purposely avoid your chest. You didn't know where all this had come from. It seemed kind of sudden. You hadn't done anything to turn Dave on, had you? Unless...the pee? No, it couldn't be. You were talking about Dave Strider for god's sake! The Dave Strider who was currently muttering about how pretty you were that is. Ok, maybe Dave having a weird kink wasn't the most surprising thing but c’mon. He’s your best friend.

“Oh god, John.” You hear Dave sigh as he traced the lines of your stomach. You had a bit of muscle to you, but you were in no way ripped. You smiled up at your roommate.

“You like it?” you teased him with a smile. He looked up at you over the top of his sunglasses. Holy shit his eyes were nice.

“Yeah. I like it. But I like this more.” He smiled at you, and while maintaining eye contact. He poked the bulge that was your swollen bladder. You squirmed away from the touch, but Dave put his hands down on either side of you. He leaned his face close to yours.

“I thought you had to go Egbert. So why don't you just go?” Dave said with a devilish grin.

“Dave! I can't go like this. I have my pants on, you're on top of me for christ's sake!” You exclaimed. You were still writhing under him, and you weren't paying attention. Your knee collides into Daves's abdomen. Specifically his bladder. He grunts and his arms give out, his face dropping down to your neck.

“Sorry. Oh my god Dave I’m so sorry” you muttered until Dave hoisted himself back up on his arms and smiled down at you with a devilish grin.

“Ohhh you're going to pay for that.” He said with a chuckle.

“Dave- what do you-” You asked before he jammed his knee into your bladder. You screamed but miraculously didn't leak anything.

“Look at you, you dirty slut. So ready to piss himself” Dave leaned down over you, licking and biting at your neck.

“Color?” he whispered. You thought a second. You were in shock over the turn of events quite honestly. But, you did like it. And whether you liked it or not, you were getting hard.

“G-green” you muttered into Dave’s neck. He continued to bite and lick your neck and ear. Slowly, he trailed down your chest, leaving bite marks in his wake. He makes it to your nipple and slowly licks around the outside. You groaned. It wasn't enough.

“Aww. Does the bitch boy want more?” Dave chided. Suddenly, he took your nipple into his mouth.

“Hnn- Dave-” you murmured. You had never really thought about playing with your nipples. “More...please.” Dave sat up, a trail of saliva dripped from his mouth to your nipple for a moment before breaking.

“Nah. I don't think so.” He said with a shrug.

“Wha- what do you mean-” you whined out.

“I mean I'm not going to give you anything else until you do what I want,” Dave said nonchalantly.

“Well...fine then. It's not like I want anything else.” you huffed.

“Your boner says otherwise.” Dave murmured. You tried to shift under Dave, trying to get the smallest bit of friction. Dave shifted his arms to pin your hips down. You whined again.

“I said; do what I say and I’ll give you more,” Dave growled. You whimpered.

“What...do you want?”

“I want you to fucking piss yourself Egbert,” Dave said menacingly. “Do it or I’ll force you to do it.”

“Dave. I can’t.” you sobbed out.

“Yes. You. Can.” Dave hissed. He pressed down on our bladder harshly.

“Dave. I really can’t.” You cried. You didn't know what was wrong but some civilized sense was stopping you from peeing. Maybe it was the fact you had pants on, maybe it was how tense you were. You didn't know, but it was starting to hurt.

Dave saw you crying and instantly his face became one of concern. “Color?” he whispered to you.

“Y-yellow” you choked out. Dave stopped everything he was doing almost instantly. He took his knee off of your bladder and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you up into a sitting position against him.

“What's wrong baby?” he asked you, as he started stroking your hair gently. He was being uncharacteristically gently. Not that you minded.

“I don't know Dave...I just can't ‘go’. Some urge won't let me, no matter how hard you push or how much I have to go.” You murmured against his chest.

“Oh John, you're ok,” he said soothingly. “It probably just 'cause you're tense. Try to relax.” Dave left one hand supporting you, and let his other hand slowly trail down your stomach; making you shiver. He eventually reached your bladder and started massaging small circles around it. “Just relax. Just relax.” He whispered to you over and over. After a while, you felt a lot better. Less constricted.

“Mmm. Feel better now,” you whispered to Dave. That's all it took for his old smirk to return.

“Oh really?” He asked. Quickly, he flipped you back onto your back, once again pining your arms above your head. “Ready to try again?” He asked mischievously. You nodded and immediately felt Daves's knee pressing on your bladder. “If your so ready, then go,” he demanded. You withered under him, pretending to try and escape. All this earned you was another sharp jab to the bladder.

Crying out, you felt a warmth slowly encasing your dick. The warmth slowly spread into your pants, getting hotter and hotter. You felt its dampness run along your legs and- oh shit. You were pissing yourself. And you hated to admit it but...it felt really good.

Dave chuckled above you. “Awww. Such a good boy. Pissing himself for me. So proud of you John.” you cooed at the praise, but slowly started to get uncomfortable from the pee cooling off on your pants. Dave noticed your shifting and smiled, the predatory glare had left his eyes.

“You need to get out of those?” he said. He pulled his knee, which was also now stained with your piss, off of you. Moving carefully, he straddles your midsection and started to slowly run his hands down your side. You shuddered as he got to your waistline.

“Mmm. You wanna take these off?” he murmured. You nodded vigorously, the material was uncomfortable. “Stand up,” Dave commanded. You did as he told you too and he started to slide your pants down. Once they were off, you started to squirm. The cold against your underwear was not helping you stay soft.

“Oh John, you're getting hard.” Dave cooed at you, grabbing your face and making you look at him. “You want me to help you with that?”

“I- I…” you trailed off, refusing to look him in the eye.

“Say it.” He hissed, jerking your head and startling you so you looked him in the eyes.

“I...I want your help, Dave.”

1347 words


End file.
